The Dark Side

So far I have mostly shared about the wonderful parts of the CTS world that I love. Or about the problems that new laws are causing. But there also exists a dark side to the world of Consensual Transactional Sex, and I would be remiss not to share about my bad experiences as well as my good.

It would be arrogant of me to say that I have “seen it all”, but after nearly two decades in this community I have seen a lot.

One of my first encounters with the dark side occurred when traveling on work. After dinner one night I decided to go to the bar next to my hotel to relax a bit. Turns out there were a few ladies “working” the bar. One of them came of pretty strong, but she was very attractive. I decided to take her back to my room for some fun. When we got there I failed to notice that she kept the motel room door from clicking all the way shut. A minute later, her pimp/accomplice came barging through the door with a gun. He demanded my money, which I gave to the woman. He made a few threats about shooting me if I called the police and then they left. Thankfully I did not have much cash on me that night, so I only lost what I was going to pay her. But it was scary experience. And it taught me to make sure I was the one to close the door and lock it—even if I am visiting a lady in her room.

I have also had the non-violent rob. Also occurred in while out of town in my own hotel room. This time I had called a lady I found online. She came to the room and it all seemed good at first. She had me naked on the bed and then said she was going to do a strip tease. So there I was, laying completely naked, as she started to dance a bit. Then, quick as you please, she grabs the money from the table and was out the door. Happened so fast, I didn’t realize she was a rob until she was opening the door. I did not chase after her.

I’ve had a couple of ladies pull knives on me, but neither of them got any money. I will cooperate with a gun—unlike Superman, I am not faster than a speeding bullet. But I know how to defend myself against a knife. It pains me that on both occasions I had to cause injury to the women, but it was in self defense.

But by far the worse thing that has ever happened to me was being sexually assaulted and robbed.

Once again I was out of town and staying in a hotel. I found a woman who looked very nice on the now defunct BackPage. My previous ill adventures had happened during the first 10 years of my experience. It had been years since anything worse than having a woman not show up had happened to me. But success (or at least the absence of failure) breeds arrogance and laziness.

I had not had much success with women from BackPage. The few who I actually had met had not been worth the time or money. In fact, a few times I had walked away from some BP women once I met them because they were not the women in the photos on the ads (the old bait & switch). I was usually quite diligent in only seeing ladies with good reviews online or who I had met personally at social events. But this time I gave a lady off BP a chance. I could find nothing bad about her online, but then again, I couldn’t find anything good either.

After she arrived and we chatted a bit about what I wanted we got down to business. I ended up sitting in a chair with my pants around my ankles to receive some oral pleasure. And that was when she bit me. Yup, you read that right. SHE. BIT. ME. Bit me where no man wants to be bitten. Hard. She drew blood.

At that point she quickly got up and went for the money on the dresser. I tried to stand, but my pants tripped me up. She was out the door with the money while I was on the floor, bleeding and in a ton of pain. By the time I got to the door she was outside, getting in a car and driving off with her pimp/boyfriend/accomplice.

I ended up in the ER where I had to explain to a doctor an a couple of nurses what had happened to me. California having a mandatory reporting law for sexual offenses, the ER had to call the police. I gave my statement. My attacker and her pimp were arrested a few weeks later in another state on other charges (the details of which I won’t disclose for league reasons).

It took a few weeks for me to heal. For a while neither I nor my doctor was sure if I would have a full recovery. It was a scary time. I did share about my experience online within our community. A lot of people got a good laugh at my expense, a few scolded me for not doing better research. My Favorite Lady (and best friend) called me up and angrily demanded to know who “the bitch” was.

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My stories are far from unique. Many men have similar, and often worse stories. The stories that the ladies share are even worse. They can often involve rape and beatings in addition to robbery. Terrible stories are very common in the CTS community.

And yet, there is still so much good here. Nobody can say with any sort of certainty what the ratio is between the good and the bad, but it is a reality that most experiences are positive in our little world. Most the people are good natured, fun loving, “normal” characters. We may be a bit outside (or a lot outside) the norms of society at large, but we really are not that different. There is bad along with the good, but the good far outweighs the bad.

But I do have a responsibility to be honest about our community. And then means sharing some of the bad stuff as well as the good.