BBFS. The acronym that any quality sex worker or client never wants to see come up. BBFS: Bare-Back Full Service. Unprotected intercourse. Sex without a condom. The absolute NO of any reasonable person in the CTS community.
And yet, there it was in an email I recently received: BBFS +100. A lady offering unprotected sex to me. That is what I call some scary shit.
Unprotected sex is one of the dark secrets of the Consensual Transactional Sex community. It shouldn’t be. It shouldn’t happen. Period. But it does. It’s out there. And it is a true danger.
Overall, our community is pretty safe when it comes to Sexually Transmitted Disease. They happen, but not nearly as often as outsiders might think. Why? Because we play safe. The truth is, the average member of the CTS community worries about STDs. We know that having multiple sex partners increases our chance of catching something. So we use condoms. And that mitigates the risk substantially. In almost two decades of participating in this world I have never caught anything. Because I have never had unprotected sex with a sex worker. In fact, in my entire life I have only had unprotected sex with three women, and in all of those cases they were women I was in a serious relationship with. We knew and trusted each other.
But there exists in our world a small group of clients who actively seek out unprotected sex. These men (and a few women) do not care about the risks. Or simply do not believe there are any risks. They are willing to endanger themselves and others for the sake of a bit more pleasure. The desire for pleasure is something that anyone in our community understands. I do not find condoms all that comfortable. But I want to be safe, and in the end I receive all the pleasure I truly need.
And there are ladies who know there is an unfortunate market for this service, and they are willing to provide it at an extra cost. Why they re willing to do this I do not know. Is it greed? Is it ignorance of the danger? Is it an attitude of apathy towards danger? I do not know. It is something I don’t understand.
Those who participate in BBFS are a true risk to our community. Their irresponsibility puts others at risk.
And there is a sense that they cannot be trusted. Especially in light of one of the new dangers in our society: “stealthing”.
“Stealthing” is a practice by some men of secretly removing a condom during sex. Most of us in the CTS community are abhorred by this and consider it paramount to rape. It is a vile behavior that goes firmly against the idea of Consensual sex. And it puts people at an increased risk of disease.
There is some good news in all of this. BBFS is considered taboo. Which means that sex workers who offer it are often put on Do Not See (DNS) lists by the clients. The same is true for clients who request it. The blacklists are real. The community does work to self-police against these dangerous behaviors. Like many other men, the moment I see that a sex worker is offering (or known to allow) BBFS, she immediately goes on my NO list. And the community can have a long memory about such things. But the danger is out there.
FOLLOW UP POST: Responses to: “The Darks Side: BBFS”
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The other reason you didn’t list is desperation. I think that is why any girl would offer it is that they separately need the money and are willing to take the risk since they know some clients are willing to pay that premium. The minute I see that on an ad the woman goes on my mental DNS list. The long term consequences are never worth the risk, period.
Back in the RB days, they used to have private groups. One of the groups had a list of ladies that offered BBFS. Many 5***** providers. I still have the list, probably a few still working. I’ve had it offered to me at least a dozen times, usually after a 2nd session. I always decline, then never see the lady again. IMHO, if your married, older gentleman, you will be offered BBFS from most GFE ladies. Not all, but more than you think.
There are lots of misconceptions about bbfs – the fact is, that bbfs IS SAFE, as long as you do not weaken your immune system with drugs or alcohol, do not do anal sex, and do not do anything involving blood. Even the CDC has admitted this but it’s not publicly known because the right-wing uptight Republicans, and anti-sex crusaders don’t want it known. They want to keep you from having sex outside of marriage by scaring you into believing that it’s dangerous. They want to keep you from impregnating women by telling you to use a condom so that the women don’t go to get abortions. That’s what they are really trying to stop: abortions, and sex outside the “sanctity” of marriage.
To disprove much of what you’ve said: I’ve been seeing escorts for about 40 years. I’ve seen over 1000 escorts, and never used a condom. I’ve seen “upscale” escorts as well as streetwalkers and I’ve been all over the world. And I’ve never had an STD. How do you account for that if BBFS is so dangerous? It’s not luck… it’s the fact that sexually transmittable diseases are not as easily transmitted as some people would have you think.
Your personal anecdote does not disprove anything. You ask what your lack of an STD could be attributed to? Either luck or lies.
Honestly, I do have trouble believing your claims. But they could be true. You say you’ve been doing this for 40 years. I know that 40 years ago BBFS was much more common than now. In fact, it was often expected. The AIDS pandemic was a major factor in changing this. The CDC has quietly published the fact that contracting HV and certain other STD’s is more difficult (especially for heterosexual men) than what is commonly thought. Why did they keep this revelation quiet? Because they wanted people to continue to use safe sex practices, to protect people. In places where condom use is the norm, STD rates are lower. This is a good thing.
If it is true that you have been with over 1,000 women without using condoms and without contracting anything, then you have been damn lucky. But you may also be wrong. You might be carrying something around in your blood without even knowing it. You could be spreading something. And for what? A bit more pleasure? You are willing to risk the lives of other people for a bit more pleasure for yourself? That, my friend, is very selfish and very dangerous.
I’m not being moralistic or political when I state that no one should be having unprotected sex outside of a monogamous relationship. I allowed the above comment to be visible on my blog to illustrate how cavalier and selfish certain people can be about this issue. A person like this should be avoided.
It is the Official position of The ValleyScott Blog that unprotected sex (BBFS) does not belong in the Consensual Transactional Sex community.