Responses to: “The Dark Side: BBFS”

My post concerning the dangers of “Bare-back Full Service” (BBFS), aka unprotected sexual intercourse, has become the most viewed piece on the website. It has also led to some rather heated responses. I thought it was time I should address a few things.

[Link to original post: “The Dark Side: BBFS”]

I want to start by reiterating that unprotected intercourse in CTS is very dangerous to our community and should not be done. Period. There is no place for BBFS in the CTS world.

But not everyone agrees.

I received several responses from people—all but one of them men—telling me that it was perfectly safe and acceptable if the participants are being getting STI/STD testing on a “regular” basis. Considering the number of diseases that do not always show up in tests immediately, yet can still be transmittable, this is a very dangerous suggestion. It is also rather idiotic.

The reasoning of people who suggest that testing makes things safe is you will know a potential partner is clean of any disease or infection before having sex with them. They also suggest that if participants are tested every two weeks (or so), then if they catch anything they will be able to stop having unprotected sex before they transmit anything. The stupidity of such suggestions astounds me.

A ten day old test just means that they didn’t (past tense) have anything. If they are a regular participant in unprotected sex they could easily have picked something up in those ten days. And it could take weeks or months for something to even show up in a test. The exposure risk grows exponentially with each new BBFS partner.

And the other suggestion regard being able to stop before spreading an illness is so utterly stupid it defies all logic. You will stop after you get sick? Two people suggested this concept to me. I wonder if they realize the drastic flaw in their logic. Wouldn’t it be better not to get a disease in the first lace?

Unprotected sex belongs in committed relationships. And really, only in monogamous relationships. In no way should it be a part of transactional sex or casual sex. Anyone with multiple sexual partners needs to be using condoms during intercourse. No exceptions.

Someone challenged me concerning how many sexual partners I have had unprotected sex with. The answer is 3. I’ve had sex with three women in my entire life without the use of a condom. One was my wife. The other two are women that I was in relationships with. In both cases neither of us was having unprotected sex with anyone else.

But I have NEVER had unprotected sex with a prostitute. And I never will. And neither should anyone else.

Some people were upset over the suggestion that those who participate in BBFS should be blacklisted in the community. Some posited that they believe ALL sex workers have unprotected sex with some of their clients. That is well known to be complete bullshit. Most sex workers will not even consider it. They value their lives far too much for that. And just because some do, doesn’t legitimate enough the practice in any way. Nor does the idea that sex workers may be having unprotected sex with their spouses or other committed partner. Sex between clients and sex workers should always be safe.

And a blacklist is for the safety of all. There are far too many sex workers that are openly advertising BBFS. Insane! Such people should be avoided. I will not see them. And many of the other hobbyists I know have been vocal that they will also not see ladies who advertise BBFS. While no formal blacklist exists, there are plenty of informal ones.

It truly amazed me how adamantly some people were in defending BBFS. But it was also interesting that only one sex worker spoke up in defense of the practice. Her response was “It’s my business who I fuck and how I fuck them. I don’t give a fuck if I get AIDS.”

Wow. Honestly, I had no idea how to reply to that, and really still don’t.

BBFS is a dangerous practice. It’s potential for introducing and spreading disease in our community is unsettling. The willingness of so many sex workers and clients to participate in it is shocking. There are already too many dangers in our community, this should not be one of them.

If you are having unprotected sex with someone other than your committed significant other, please stop. You are risking your own health and life, and potentially risking the safety of many others. Don’t be a part of this problem.

Positive Response

I do want to point out that the primary response to the original post was overwhelmingly positive.  Most people who replied agree that BBFS is a danger to the community and  feel that providers who advertise it should be avoided and that clients who ask for it should be refused.

The community is best when it self-polices.  Keeping out those who are blatantly endangering the rest of the community is good for us all.

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