I Will Not Be Bullied

I will not be bullied.

This should be a topic for a blog written by an elementary school student, not a blog written by an adult man. Bullies are supposed to be something we leave behind on the school yard, but the sad truth is, there are probably far more bullies on the Internet than there ever were in school.

And I will not be their victim.

I am currently dealing with a bully online. She (yes, it is a woman) will likely be very unhappy with me referring to her as a bully. But the word is apt. She is a bully. And she is working to harm my reputation.

See, this woman does not like it when people call her on her lies or other misdeeds. She does not like to be confronted when she is wrong. And so she attacks. Not just a retaliation, but a full onslaught of online bullying. She resorts to name-calling, fabricating incidents, alleging crimes that do not exist, and full on lying about events.

This is not my first run-in with this individual. Last year I published a blog post which she sent to me. Turns out, it had already been published. Several years before. In truth, there was no clear manner in which to determine the ownership of the piece, but logic suggested it belong to the earliest known publisher. And that was a New York-based provider, not the woman who gave it to me. As such I had to remove it and publish a retraction & apology.

This really set off my bully. Up until this point we had enjoyed a good relationship (though we had never actually met). But she was incensed that I would acknowledge someone else as the owner of that particular piece of intellectual property. Long-story short, she sent a barrage of messages and e-mails, threatening lawsuits and public personal attacks if I did not remove my retraction. After a day of this I did.

Honestly, that was a mistake on my part. One since corrected. I allowed her to bully me. But no more.

She is currently after me because she was unhappy that the owners of a new website would not give her their names. It is a site that I am an administrator on. I do not want to use my name on that site for multiple reasons—some personal, some professional. But this bully would not take no for an answer and threatened to tell others that this new website is dangerous and a scam (it is neither). She claimed that I and an unnamed provider were running this new site, and that this unnamed provider is know in the San Francisco area as a thief who steals from clients. Honestly, I have no idea who she is talking about. But she kept at it.

When confronted about her accusations and lies, she because even angrier. At this point she once again resorted to claims of filing for a restraining order against me and filing a lawsuit against me. She (or others on her behalf) started going on social media bad-mouthing me. And worse yet, she (or these others on her behalf) started tagging my posts with the social media account of my local police department. Yes, you read that right, a Sex Worker has been attempting to send the police after a member of the community. I have also been called a pimp, a stalker, and a predatory through these accounts on social media. She has also used veiled threats that she will report my blog to the Federal authorities for FOSTA/SESTA violations. She claims that she has “over 100” emails from me threatening to rape or kill her.

It is truly sad that she would resort to such lies because her ego cannot take criticism—especially truthful criticism. The fact that anyone in our community would—in any way—attempt to use FOSTA as a weapon is absolutely atrocious. She has clearly demonstrated that she is a danger to our community.

She has been attempting to silence me for two days, claiming that she and her lawyer filing a temporary restraining order against me. Thing is, I don’t believe it. The papers she posted to her personal Instagram account appear to be of a restraining order, but they do not indicate me or her in any way. Furthermore, if she had engaged the use of a lawyer, it would have been this lawyer, and not the sex worker, that would have contacted me. No lawyer would allow their client to contact the person they wish a restraining order against.

I firmly believe her story to be a lie meant to intimidate me. I have not been contacted by any lawyer, court, or officer of any court. I have not been presented with any documentation of any kind, by any one that indicates any court order against me or my work.

I will not be intimidated. I will not be bullied.

I have no desire to contact this woman ever again. But I will also not allow her to silence me in any way. She has no right to do so.

She has threatened me and my work. She has said she will bury me in legal fees (though I have never been contacted by any lawyer representing her). She has threatened to send law enforcement after me. She is a liar. She is vulgar. Her language towards and about me and others has been racist and reprehensible. She is a bully.

And I will not be bullied. I will not be intimidated. And I will not be silenced.

I am sure when she reads this she will be very angry. That is too bad. She will claim (again) that I am committing libel or slander against her. I am not. I am simply stating my opinions on her behaviors.

I will not be bullied.